Wednesday, 22 January 2014

GOD SPEAKS TO US THROUGH KATY PERRY'S HOOTERS

Katy Perry, GQ magazine, celebrity gossip, whorrified,
KATY PERRY COVERS THIS MONTH'S GQ MAG
which no one is going to buy because 
it's nothing but pictures of boobs.
GQ





  
Screw Darwinism. Screw Creationism. Hell, screw everything that isn't blind faith because Katy Perry has just offered up the most compelling evidence of the existence of God ever and it's boobs. 

In the latest issue of GQ, which is basically just a hastily assembled bunch of crap cobbled together to exist between the pages of Katy's giant breasts, the songstress confides: "I lay on my back one night and looked down at my feet, and I prayed to God. I said, 'God, will you please let me have boobs so big that I can't see my feet when I'm lying down?' " 
And SHAZAM! It was so. 

Unfortunately she then went on to waste them on Russell Brand and John Mayer, but hey, it's not too late. I'm sure theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking is next on her list (although he prefers hookers). We all have to grow up sometime.

EDITOR'S NOTE: So God is real?
MY NOTE: He's real. And he's spectacular.
KATY PERRY'S BOOBS' NOTE: Well now we're confused. Wasn't it just four months ago our mistress was prattling on about this?