Friday, 10 January 2014

GWYNETH SQUEEZES THE JUICE OUT OF CHILDHOOD

TMZ.COM
"Mommy, this organic lemonade tastes like butthole."
"That's because it was squeezed by the most tightly clenched arse in Hollywood, dear."

Remember when you were a kid and you mixed some ReaLemon into a package of Tang, set up a lemonade stand and sold it for 25 cents a glass? Yeah, well Saint Gwyneth of the Kale-Fed Martyrs did not have that childhood, and neither, by God, will her saintly loin fruit. Hence we have this mind-fuck scenario, brought to us by TMZ, of Gwynnie helicopter-parenting all over her brats' first enterpreneurial experience, with her handcrafted artisanal sign and her overpriced "100 per cent organic" sugar-free swill and her goddam YOGA PANTS. Good lord. I can feel her children's ulcers already.