"Mommy, this organic lemonade tastes like butthole."
"That's because it was squeezed by the most tightly clenched arse in Hollywood, dear."
Remember when you were a kid and you mixed some ReaLemon into a package of Tang, set up a lemonade stand and sold it for 25 cents a glass? Yeah, well Saint Gwyneth of the Kale-Fed Martyrs did not have that childhood, and neither, by God, will her saintly loin fruit. Hence we have this mind-fuck scenario, brought to us by TMZ, of Gwynnie helicopter-parenting all over her brats' first enterpreneurial experience, with her handcrafted artisanal sign and her overpriced "100 per cent organic" sugar-free swill and her goddam YOGA PANTS. Good lord. I can feel her children's ulcers already.