|GOSSIP WEBSITES SAY KELLY OSBOURNE LOOKED 'SUPER HOT' at the Golden Globes. And since I was able to look at this for almost four whole seconds before the involuntary projectile vomiting kicked in, it must be true.|
Which is why all this gossip website talk of how "hot" Kelly Osbourne looked at the Golden Globes is making me want to sick up. The woman has the teeth and the soul of a wolverine, you guys! Her hair is old-lady mauve! She's a witch! She's a harpie! She's ... hey! WTF, Editor! Stop manhandling me!!!
EDITOR'S NOTE: Okay, woman, that's enough. I'm obviously going to have to perform the Heimlich manoever on you to calm you down.
MY NOTE: *claps hands excitedly* The way you did last time? When you threw me down on the bar and injected me with overproof tequila? Cuz I liked that.