Tuesday, 28 January 2014

IRELAND BALDWIN DYED THE HAIR ABOVE HER BOOBS

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE 
MORE INTO HAIR THAN BOOBS 
(which would be everybody, right?) please enjoy 
this photo of Ireland Baldwin's new tresses. 
Apparently she's wearing little more than a bra 
but I cropped that out because who cares?
 Instagram
Welcome to Wednesday's edition of Whorrified, in which we bring you the latest news about Alec Baldwin's daughter's hair. Which she has just lightened a few shades because, let's be honest, aside from incessantly Instagramming pictures of her boobs in a bikini, what else does this kid have to do? Not that anyone is complaining, because boobs are what this country was built on. That and sex tapes. 

In case you missed the last instalment, in which Ireland Baldwin got bangs and the ensuing hysteria damn near broke the Internet, here's that. Plus this fresh new update in which Ireland Baldwin dyes her hair stripper blonde. You kids majoring in political science and economics are wasting your goddam time. Less studying, more selfie-ing, that's what you need to be doing. Someone had to be the one to tell you.

EDITOR'S NOTE: It's a wonder someone hasn't made Ireland Baldwin president. I mean Sarah Palin got this close, fer Chrissake out loud. You're gonna tell me this chick doesn't have a chance?  
MY NOTE: It's only a matter of time.


MORE SERIOUS EDITOR'S NOTE: It has come to my attention that those of you who are reading this blog on your mobile phone are missing out on a whole lot of other useless crap that doesn't show up unless you click on "View Web Version" down at the bottom of the page. Are you seeing Vin Diesel getting his man-dance on? View Web Version. So easy even a moron editor could do it.