|JUSTIN BIEBER SEEN GETTING A DAMN GOOD WET-NOODLING IN BAIL COURT |
And I worry it's too late for the boy, because as you can see he's already affecting the scowl of a hardened street criminal.
Framegrab from raw video
Justin Bieber, the other Canadian white meat who thinks he's black, has been released from a Miami jail after being busted for drag racing, DUI and resisting arrest. Bail was set at a princely $2,500, which, just to add a little perspective and "flava," is about one-thirtieth of what he blew on strippers just two nights earlier.
And while I'd like to think that judge knew what the hell he was unleashing, I find myself wondering if he had the sense to include a strict "no sizzurp" clause in the bail conditions. As well as a strict "stay the fuck away from your tatted idiot father" clause, because what in God's name was Jeremy Bieber doing partying with 19-year-olds, watching his son smoke what by the Biebs' own admission was a goodly number of spliffs, and assisting in the cordoning off of residential Miami streets so that his little man could get his thug on?
But who am I kidding? None of that was in there. The Biebs is probably having a therapeutic hookup with Tati Neves this very second while his Pa holds the video camera. And the doobies. And Tati's older, larger and vastly less attractive sister. It's what we here in Ontario call good parenting.
EDITOR'S NOTE: Me, I still can't get over the kid's mugshot. Jesus, even Nick Nolte knows enough not to grin when he's being booked.
MY NOTE: Don't worry. He'll get the hang of it.
Best update ever: The Biebs ratted out his drug dealer and you won't believe who it is!