Wednesday, 15 January 2014


Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, Blac Chyna, Whorrified,
KIM KARDASHIAN AND HER STRIPPER 'BESTIE,'  BLAC CHYNA, showing off their real (left) and fake (right) butts on Instagram. Hard to believe such a golden human being would attract the scorn of the general public, but what do I know? I'm just a woman with a real butt who works for a living.

What with Justin Bieber egging his neighbour's house and causing his home to be searched and his idiot best friend to be charged with drug possession, I've hardly had time to pay attention to Kanye's latest bullshittery. Which is too bad, because it's epic.

In a nutshell, Kim chided some teenager who was trying to help her through the paparazzi mobs on her way into a chiropractor's office. (Her monstrous donkey arse has obviously pulled her sacroiliac. You don't have to be a chiropractor to diagnose that one.) The teenager took offence and told her he was just trying to help her, and because he's probably Sean Penn's son, he then followed up with "Shut up, n*gger lover, stupid slut." 

Which, all things considered, was one of the nicer insults he could have lobbed at her, but Kim nevertheless took umbrage and called her husband, Kanye 'Fists of Genius Fury' West, in as a calming influence. Kanye arrived within moments and of course he went apeshit on the kid, pummelling him an alleged 30 times while the poor dumb bastard curled up in a ball and the chiropractor's secretary screamed at Kanye to leave.  
To make a long story slightly shorter, the kid is pressing charges, which will achieve absolutely nothing because Kanye is rich and godlike and also because, in case you didn't read the post about Kelly Osbourne, below, God is dead. Thankfully, his son Jesus is still alive and has brilliant judgment, so everything should work out just fine. It's just the universe unfolding as it should.