|PORTER MAGAZINE MAY BE BRAND NEW, but it's obviously going to be a huge success because they know what matters and they're willing to pay for pictures of it.|
From Porter's inaugural edition
Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen leads the new Porter magazine's list of incredible women (but that's only because they haven't seen this picture yet). And since Victoria Beckham and Penelope Cruz also made the list, I'm going to go ahead and assume we're using "incredible" in the physical sense rather than the intellectual one. Not that there's anything wrong with that — I've practically turned boobs into an art form here on this blog — as long as you don't allow your teenage daughters to read it or foster any hopes of ever seeing a woman become president, prime minister or even just respected as a human being rather than as a piece of absolutely spectacular ass. Speaking of which, I'm looking and looking ... *flips pages* ... and looking but not seeing ...WTF! ... why is this inappropriate picture of ME not in here? Is this not the definition, the image, the very ESSENCE of incredible? Jesus, who do I have to sleep with to get some goddam acknowlegement around here? *sees moron editor leering at her, vomits daintily* Never mind. I'm okay with it. Moving on.