Thursday, 6 February 2014

JUSTIN BIEBER NEARING STREET CRED WITH JAIL VIDEO

justin bieber, jail video, dui arrest, miami police, whorrified,
MIAMI POLICE RELEASED THIS SURVEILLANCE VIDEO 
of a drunken Bieber getting fondled by jail guards after his DUI arrest. Gay porn, anyone?
TMZ framegrab

And now, because there's money to be made off of anything that contains the words "Justin Bieber," the Miami Beach police department has released surveillance footage of the Biebs being processed after his DUI bust. TMZ is shamelessly misrepresenting the video (below) as "Bieber Struts His Stuff in Jail," which just goes to show you they don't know the difference between strutting and staggering. Because the kid is clearly completely off his rocker in this footage, floating in a haze of Mother's Little Happy Pills washed down with Lil Wayne's Elixir of Seizure. In fact the more I look at this video the more I think it's a hoax, because the cops aren't trying to beat the shit out of him and make it look like an accident. Although maybe that's just because they don't realize that he's black.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Harrumph! This blurry video is so lame the most interesting thing I can glean from it is that the Biebs seems curiously familiar with "assuming the position."