Monday, 10 February 2014

SAMUEL JACKSON EATS STUPID PEOPLE FOR BREAKFAST

Samuel Jackson, Laurence Fishburne, Sam Rubin, Robocop, Whorrified,
DAN RATHER, LEFT, BACKPEDALS LIKE A MOFO 
after mistaking Laurence L. Fishburne for ... wait. Now I'm confused. 
TMZ

Have you ever made a hideous, ghastly, painfully embarrassing mistake, the kind that makes you wish the ground would literally open up like the butthole of Kim Kardashian and swallow you? That feeling is nothing compared to the boner some hapless K.T.L.A. news anchor just pulled live, on-air, shortly before being eaten alive by actor Samuel Jackson (video below). Watch as this anchor, whose name I don't know and it doesn't matter because he's never going to work in that town again, mistakes Robocop star Samuel Jackson for "that other black actor," Laurence Fishburne. The look on Jackson's face is pretty much priceless, but it's just the warmup. The actual verbal rotisserieing follows shortly afterward. And it's priceless. The mortified anchor backpedals so hard his toupe damn near blows off, but Jackson isn't having it, he's not about to let this guy off half-broiled. He's going for blistered, charred, Chicago-style flambe. Seriously. I'm sweating just watching this poor bastard. If I ever make this kind of mistake, please, do me a favour and have my moron editor put down immediately.

EDITOR'S NOTE: That's Samuel Jackson? I thought it was Justin Bieber's dad!
MY NOTE: No, Justin Bieber's dad, unlike Justin Bieber, is white.