|SHERRI SHEPHERD'S HEAD IS LITERALLY IN DANGER OF EXPLODING as she tries to grasp Barbara Walters' thought process on a segment of The View.|
Okay, Babs, the way it works in Hollywood is this: one is permitted to be a hugely successful entity well into codgerdom until, and only until, this mathematical equation applies to you: your senility is greater than your obsequiousness plus your ego plus your number of facelifts. CLANG! That's me, hitting the senility gong for Babs because WTF is she doing defending Woody Allen?
Ah yes, I forgot, Barbara Walter is the closest thing we have to Jesus (unless you count Oprah and Beyonce, but as this other reporting genius has already firmly established, "Jesus was white"). And as such, she is duty-bound to persuade us that Woody couldn't possibly have done the disgusting things his adopted daughter has insisted her whole life that he did because he's a loving father who dotes on his real daughters ... whom he had with the stepdaughter he married just a few months after not doing anything inappropriate with his other, younger stepdaughter. You know the one? The liar. What's her name? I can't remember, ask Babs, her mind is sharper than mine. Or anyone's really. As this tractor trailer-load of horseshit coming at you from the font of intellect that is The View clearly proves.