Sunday, 16 March 2014


cher, bob mackie, whorrified, dressed to kill tour,
because her favouritest designer ever won't be 
sewing pretty dresses for her tour. I think 
the word we're looking for here is 'tragedy.' 

In one of the more glaring signs that celebrities' minds don't orbit the same planets as ours do, Cher is carrying loudly on about how she's on the verge of a goddam mental breakdown and it's not because Crimea is being torn asunder or because the Malaysian airliner is still missing or even because Rob Ford is somehow still mayor of Toronto. 

No, it's because her favourite designer, Bob Mackie, has backed out of her Dressed to Kill tour because he's like 103 and needs to have a little lie-down.
"You don't know my grief. I'm crying," she tweeted in all seriousness. "I felt I had to share it with you."

Jesus Christ, Cher. I've loved you with an almost lesbianic fierceness since I was a teenager (and not just because you actually can turn back time), but you are skating perilously close to Kardashian territory with this one. 

EDITOR'S NOTE: Someone should tell her there are about a million fresh, talented new designers who would LOVE a chance to take up the mantle for her.
MY NOTE: One doesn't want to hear that sort of thing when one is prostrate with grief, you insensitive bastard.