Friday, 14 March 2014

I FINALLY FOUND TRUE LOVE ... AND HE'S ON SALE!

best red wines under $10, mcguigan black label, whorrified,
I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO THE NEW LOVE OF MY LIFE ... 
McGuigan's Black Label Shiraz, seen here passed out on the floor in honour of our first date.

mcguigan black label shiraz, alize, whorrified, marie sutherland, true love,
IN THE YEAR BMcG (Before McGuigan)
 It was nice while it lasted, Alize, but you 
changed your recipe and you cost too much. 
Mostly that last one.
I'll have to keep this one short because the floor is tilting it's Friday night and I have a hot date. Which isn't surprising because my God, have you seen me? Women like this don't come along every day and when they do, it's with a police escort and a roll of CAUTION tape in tow.

But about the hot date: One hates to kiss and tell (unless one is handsomely paid to do so, isn't that right Monica?) but sometimes the date is so hot it's just plain wrong not to. Plus he's on sale right now and if you like Australians that taste like they should cost twice as much as they actually do, you need to meet this guy. McGuigan is the name. Shiraz is the game. On sale for just $9.95, which I have interpreted as direct order from God to buy an entire case of him.

I like to enjoy my McGuigan with a well-marbled rib steak, although, truth be told, he's pretty delicious on his own, squeezed straight into a chipped tumbler from the T-shirt I just spilled him on. (Sounds dodgy, I know, but I read once when I was constipated that cotton T-shirts are an excellent source of fibre and since then, I've drunk all my wine off my own T-shirts and have not been constipated or sober since!) 

EDITOR'S NOTE: Oh ha, ha, HA. I hope all you people who are snickering and sloshing wine all over yourself right now are just as eager to volunteer your services when this madwoman needs to be dragged by her lifeless arms to our staff meeting on Monday morning.
MY NOTE: Oh lighten up, you buzz-killing gonad orphan. We're trying to have a little fun here. Remember fun? F-U-C ... er ... K-F-C ... I mean ... ah, fuck it.You're cutting into my date time. *uses glass-holding hand to flip bird, expertly drenches T-shirt* BEAUTY!!!