Thursday, 27 March 2014

KIM KARDASHIAN JUST SHAT ALL OVER HER VOGUE COVER

kim kardashian, see through dress, whorrified, kanye, anna wintour, vogue,
THIS YEAR'S WELL-DRESSED 
PORN STARS WILL BE WEARING ... 
Kim Kardashian walks the street wearing 
something I can't even describe. And her feet 
obviously aren't too happy about it.

For a woman who recently made her debut as a fashion model, Kim Kardashian sure looks a lot like a porn star. Because sweet mother of macramé, what the FUCK is she actually wearing here? 

A tea-cosy? 
A tablecloth? 
That weird, scratchy mesh that hillbillies put on the she-goats to keep their teenage sons from humping them? (‘What the hell do ya think yer doin, there, Billy Bob? That’s what sisters are for!’)
I’m going with that last one.

I especially like the fact that Kim took the time to colour-block by cloaking her lactating udders in visible, battleship-grey undergarments. It's that kind of panache that separates the fashion icons from the hookers. 

And now that Kanye has apparently licked Vogue editor Anna Wintour’s mummified arse into a state of such rapture that she can no longer think straight (Exhibit A: the April Edition), I think we can expect a whole lot more of this sort of visual cornholery. In fact I can pretty much guarantee it.