|AND HERE'S A WHEEL OF BRIE IN A SATIN GOWN ...|
Oh, wait, sorry. It's Lena Dunham, looking absolutely ravishing in a piss-coloured frock. I can't imagine what Joan Rivers was thinking.
Joan Rivers' botox levels are out of whack again and it's making her even more vicious than usual. Which means I need to invite her over for tea because it's not often I find women who really GET me, you know what I mean?
Rivers was on Howard Stern earlier this week and used the pulpit to remind us that she's about as comfortable with fatties as Karl Lagerfeld is. And by fatties I mean the one and only (thank God) Girls' star Lena Dunham.
Among her choicer bon mots: "How could she wear dresses above the knee?"
To which Stern responded: "Well, I think the thing we love about her is that she doesn’t give a sh*t… She did a whole episode in a bikini. It was the funniest f**king thing I ever saw."
"But that's wrong," Rivers insisted. "You're sending a message out to people, saying it's OK, stay fat, get diabetes, everybody die. Lose your fingers. If you look the way you look, Lena — and that's fine and you're funny — don't say it's OK that other girls can look like this," she said, adding with a laugh, "Try to look better."
And then because this wasn't enough of a shitfest already, Snooki somehow felt the need to sink her veneers into it. The little ewok took to her blog to excoriate Rivers and defend Dunham:
"We get how honest Joan can be but holy sh*t, have some respect. Half the women in America are Lena's weight and quite healthy. I was there, I was heavier, didn't have diabetes, and felt sexy as a bigger woman ... Lena is no way, to me, obese to where her health is at risk. LENA I think you're GREAT and I'm sorry we have to deal with Joan Rivers rude and crude commentary. Stay you and stay fabulous."
Which, unlike everything that ever came out of Snooki's mouth before it, actually almost makes sense, except for the part where my head just exploded. Yours too? Okay then, I won't worry ...
EDITOR'S NOTE: Is THAT what that was? I thought one of the feather pillows on my chaise longue had burst.
MY NOTE: Just be glad it wasn't Lena Dunham's head. Because then there'd be gravy on everything.