Tuesday, 27 May 2014


Kate Middleton, bare bum, Prince William, Kim Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian, Bild,
IN A FRENZY OF RESPECTABLE JOURNALISM, BILD HAS PUBLISHED A GALLERY of photos of Khloe's, Kim's and Kate's backsides. (For the unretouched version, click on the link below, you perv.) 

German tabloid Bild has caused a royal rumpus by publishing a photo of Kate Middleton's spectacular bare backside. The flash happened when Kate was boarding a helicopter in Sydney, Australia, and the wind lifted the hem of her dress, revealing a backside about one-tenth the size of Kim Kardashian's monstrosity. Which of course Bild, having already proved itself to be a merciless arbiter of porn good taste, published a photo of right beside Kate's to provide some perspective. Or to make us  throw up. I'm not sure what the motive was here, really (other than to attempt to blot out the sun we have waited for for so, so long here in Toronto). 

And while the British tabloids pretended to take the high road by publishing a blurred-out version of the photo while flinging the verbal equivalent of poo at Bild for being such a scumbag, somehow no one is saying the one thing that must be said. That needs to be said. Which I am not afraid to say. So ... uhm ... here's my moron Editor. He'll say it. *thumps snoozing editor on the head with Silver Jubilee paperweight* Go on! Don't be shy.

EDITOR'S NOTE: *ogles unretouched photo, makes sign of the cross* Yikes! Okay, so why doesn't Kate wear proper underwear on the days she will be boarding planes in loose, flowing skirts? This is hardly the first time this sort of thing has happened.
MY NOTE: Why you treasonous son-of-a-bitch! I'll have you beheaded for such talk.