Tuesday, 20 May 2014

KIM AND KANYE ARE WHY YOU SHOULD JUST DROP OUT

kim and kanye wedding, kim kardashian, charles and camilla, whorrified,
THE FUTURE EX-MRS. WEST 
is in Italy with her madman fiance 
for their looming wedding and this matters 
because God is dead.
Because I worked every day of the long weekend *adjusts hairshirt, motions to conductor to up the volume on the violins* today's posts will be short and anything but sweet. (I am sleep and alcohol deprived, arseholes; EVERYBODY will pay for this. Starting with Kimye.) 

Alas *retches* I must start with the kancer that is konsuming the brains of the entire western world, that being Kim and Kanye and their revolting nuptials. The world-famous pair and her husband-to-be have landed in Florence, Italy ... good, let THEM deal with Kimye for awhile ... and now neither America nor Italy can think of anything but the $3 million gauche-farce that is their wedding. 

Meanwhile, the future king of England and his trout-faced wife are in Canada for four days and nobody gives a shite because Camilla doesn't have an arse the size of a bouncy castle. Kids, pay attention: Life. Is. Not. Fair. Nor is it particularly intelligent, so go ahead and skip school today. Unless they're teaching you how to make a sex tape, it's just a waste of your time.