Friday, 16 May 2014


rihanna, drake, celebrity couples, clippers, whorrified,
NICE TRY, RIHANNA IN A LIMO ON HER WAY TO THE CLIPPERS GAME, but you're not fooling anyone. You're obviously devastated by your dumping of Drake (again). Click here to see how sad RiRi was at the game. *sobs*

I realize I am breaking my own rule of never posting about the same person twice in one day, but it's not like I've ever been able to follow the rules before so why start now, is how the pink tequila logic in my head is seeing this. Anyway, Rihanna dumped Drake yesterday and then proceeded straight to the mourning phase of singlehood by slapping on a cotton-candy-pink pixie wig and taking her braless nipple rings to a Clippers game with her bestie, so you're goddam right I'm gonna post about Rihanna twice in one day. I have no idea what the final score was but I will wager the Clippers lost, because how the hell are you gonna focus on a smelly ball when there's a pink-haired woman grabbing her bosoms and hollering at you from the sidelines? It's a scientific impossibility. I took biology once; I know these things.

EDITOR'S NOTE: That freak wig is adorbs, but I have to say RiRi should be careful because one minute you're cute as hell and then suddenly it's 50 years later and you look like this.
MY NOTE: Good point. I'm sure Rihanna will heed your wisdom by feeding you to her Bajan butt-sex machine.