Saturday, 24 May 2014


rihanna, charlie sheen, whorrified, brett rossi, badgalriri,
THAT TIME CHARLIE SHEEN TRIED TO GIVE RIHANNA WHAT-FOR and she just stuck a nipple ring in it and lobbed it back at him. (Explanation below.)

Because people with pink hair and pierced nipples tend not, in my experience, to be either demure or restrained or even particularly clever, I am surprised that Rihanna has somehow turned the Twitter winds around on Charlie Sheen so that he is effectively being sprayed by his own pissing match. 

To recap, for those of you who don't follow the really important news of the world: Charlie got his warlock knickers in a twist after Rihanna snubbed him and his whore-bride at a restaurant. And because he's Charlie Sheen, it didn't end there. Instead, he attempted to perform a public shaming, whose efficacity was grossly undermined by his inability to write at anything higher than a Grade 2 level, calling Rihanna a pink-haired "Village Idiot." (Read the full text of his Twitter rant here.)

The world snickered and then held its breath. Would Rihanna fight grammatically butchered fire with fire or would she simply continue to ignore him in the manner to which he is surely becoming accustomed?
We didn't have to wait long for our answer.
And so, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, it gives me great butt cramps to announce that this week's "Wittiest Albeit Damn Near Illiterate Retort" award goes to Rihanna for her double Twitter smackdown (below), in which she strikes exactly the right note of "fuck you" insouciance. WINNING!