Thursday, 29 May 2014

SOMEBODY PLEASE THROW A BAG OVER SCOUT WILLIS

scout willis, rumer willis, demi moore, free the nipple, instagram,
SCOUT WILLIS, WALKING AROUND NYC TOPLESS because she has principles. 
Twitter@Scout_Willis

Today we bring you news of yet another mutant spawn of the Bruce Willis-Demi Moore merger, which if you ask me should have been outlawed the second newborn Rumer Willis's chin hit the floor in the delivery room. We don't hear much about her younger sister, Scout Willis, which is perhaps the reason she felt compelled to take her top off and inflict the sight of her boobs on the streets of Manhattan because political protest? Or something. 

Anyway, Scout may seem like a bit of a non-starter but believe you me, the girl is pure fire. She will fight to the nude death for the really important causes, such as abortion capital punishment forcing Instagram to rethink its fundamentalist "no nudity" edict. Scout was driven to this drastic action after Instagram removed one of her photos because it violated their community guidelines despite being perfectly fine by Twitter's nonexistent standards. Her catchy catchphrase for this "protest" was #FreeTheNipple which I actually think I could get behind if we were talking about these, but we're not. We're talking about these.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Oh way to go! You've turned your entire audience to stone with that unprotected click bait.
MY NOTE: *rips blouse off* FREETHENIPPLE!
EDITOR'S NOTE: *stone*
MY NOTE: Tha-a-at's better.