|THIS PIC OF SELENA AND THE BIEBS MYSTERIOUSLY APPEARED on Instagram so either they're back together or Selena is walking around with his severed head now. |
The Internet is ablaze with the news that Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are back on again, which would make this reunion no. eleventy hundred and twenty-two. I’ve been keeping track. Every time they break up, I drink a tumbler of blue sizzurp. Every time they reunite, I drink a tumbler of red sizzurp. I’ve gone through forty bottles of the stuff and developed an addiction and a virulent reaction to food dye, but it’s worth it because of the sweet untainted purity of their young love. Whorebanging and pantyflashing notwithstanding.
Today's reunion rumour is based almost solely on the fact that the cooey duo posted this pic to Instagram and then deleted it immediately afterwards. Probably because they’d already broken up again. *thumps tumbler against chest* Editor!!! I’m going to need more sizzurp.