Friday, 13 June 2014

KELLY ROWLAND IS PREGNANT; I'M VERY HAPPY ABOUT IT

Kelly Rowland, Tim Witherspoon, Beyonce, Instagram,
KELLY ROWLAND IS PREGNANT
At least how that's how the Internet is 
interpreting her little Instagram stunt, 
so if she's not, she'd better hurry up 
and become pregnant or it'll just 
make it happen anyway
EVA RINALDI/FLICKR

'I'LL BE STUNTIN LIKE MY DADDY'
Kelly's cutesie-wutesie 
preggy-weggy announcement
As anyone who checks in here even occasionally already knows, I am not a fan of Kelly Rowland. It's not her, it's me: I just can't seem to warm up to rude, rabidly bitchy broads whose lofty opinion of themselves is based on a solid foundation of no reason whatsoever. Other than that, sure, yay, Kelly Rowland! 

However, because she is with child via her manager/husband/manservant Tim Witherspoon and I have a Piggly Wiggly-sized soft spot for babies these days, I am going to refrain from saying anything even remotely insulting about KRow (Editor's note: Too late) and move directly on to the loving, congratulatory portion of this post. Because ... because ...*holds breath until face turns purple* ... okay, fine, she made the announcement in a cute way on Instagram (below). I'm man enough to give her that.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Nicely done! Barely any venom at all! I'm proud of you.
MY NOTE: *exhales gustily* And also I hope the kid likes the taste of silicone because Kelly has fake boobs
EDITOR'S NOTE: Sigh.