|KELLY ROWLAND IS PREGNANT|
At least how that's how the Internet is
interpreting her little Instagram stunt,
so if she's not, she'd better hurry up
and become pregnant or it'll just
make it happen anyway.
'I'LL BE STUNTIN LIKE MY DADDY'
However, because she is with child via her manager/husband/manservant Tim Witherspoon and I have a Piggly Wiggly-sized soft spot for babies these days, I am going to refrain from saying anything even remotely insulting about KRow (Editor's note: Too late) and move directly on to the loving, congratulatory portion of this post. Because ... because ...*holds breath until face turns purple* ... okay, fine, she made the announcement in a cute way on Instagram (below). I'm man enough to give her that.
EDITOR'S NOTE: Nicely done! Barely any venom at all! I'm proud of you.
MY NOTE: *exhales gustily* And also I hope the kid likes the taste of silicone because Kelly has fake boobs!
EDITOR'S NOTE: Sigh.