|ZAC EFRON IS BECOMING SUSPICIOUSLY GOOD AT TABLE-DANCING|
Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm a fair table-dancer myself, if the money's right.
It's Friday! Which most if not all of you have been celebrating since Thursday because when life gives you lemons, you squeeze them until they scream for mercy. (Nature's testicles, isn't that what the scientists call them?) And since we've already started off with a tasteless male-bashing joke, let's move briskly and logically along to Zac Efron. Who has been doing a lot of table-dancing these days for reasons that can only be explained by this post right here. Because shimmying seductively to the song "Wiggle" is hands-down the best way to squash incessant rumours regarding one's sexual preference. It's a known fact. Check out the links below to see what the hell I'm talking about, as well as Lindsay Lohan's skinny bruised hooker legs, Beyonce's faithful husband, and the Kardashians as you've never seen them before.
Zac Efron is a wiggling pile of hard-core hetero manhood. I dare you to doubt it. YouTube
Lindsay Lohan is blaming her skinny bruised hooker legs on ... wait for it ... a bicycle. TheSuperficial
If Rumer Willis is "the best a man can get," I'm glad I'm a woman. Just Jared
Megan Fox thinks people want to see her makeup-free face. DON'T CLICK! USMagazine
Nice try, Beyonce, but if it didn't happen in an elevator, it's probably fake. TheStir
Oh, so THAT'S why no one's heard a damn thing from rapper Remy Ma lately. MediaTakeout
The Kardashians request the pleasure of ruining your Fourth of July. TMZ