Thursday, 25 September 2014

AMBER ROSE BROKE UP WITH WIZ KHALIFA'S TONGUE

amber rose, wiz khalifa, kanye, xxl magazine,
AWWW, SUCH A LOVELY COUPLE. A REGULAR BARACK AND MICHELE
I can't imagine what went wrong but if I had to guess I'd say she probably got sick of being licked in public all the time. (See 'Billboard Whorewards, WTF')
Instagram

Sad news today from the world of marriages you'd have thought would last at least two years, one and a half, minimum: Prodigious weed smoker and rapper Wiz Khalifa and genius stripper turned golddigger Amber Rose have called it quits amidst a flurry of cheating accusations. I won't bore you with the details other than to say that Amber says Wiz cheated but didn't include that allegation in her divorce papers so hmmm, and Wiz says Amber cheated with Nick Cannon who is pretty much just a penis looking for a place to happen, so maybe. Although Amber's taste has always run to wealthy rappers (see "Kanye: The Butt-Grinding Years"), which Nick Cannon could never in his wildest Connor Smallnut dreams ever be, so probably not. Bottom line: Wiz and Amber, officially over. Shame about the son they just had but hey, she'll probably be boinking Drake or 2Chainz or even Jay-frickin-Z by the time this appears online so I'm not going to worry my little head about it. This entire post was basically just an excuse to show off my new GIF skills, below. (I know, right? Amazeballs!)