|A SWEET YET COMPLETELY FUCKED-UP MESSAGE|
from Janay Palmer's Twitter account.
Janay Palmer/Twitter @JanayRice
When last we visited Ray Rice, he was being given the gentlest NFL lashing possible for damn near murdering his fiancée with a move he probably calls "the elevator special." It’s been a while since I called him one of the seven princes of hell for that one, so I thought I’d check in and see
Because sources tell the NY Daily News that Rice has since become a devout Christian *makes puking sounds* and sworn off "hard liquor" in an attempt to better himself. Which sounds like horse pucky to me, because I drink hard liquor all the time and I haven't once beaten anyone senseless, so I dunno, maybe I'm just not drinking enough of it. *takes generous swig of Patron, punches moron editor between the eyes* Huh! Well, I'll be damned. Forgive me, Father?
EDITOR'S NOTE: Wow *shakes head blearily* that was one of her better ones! In case you've forgotten the horror that was the elevator video, or you're so hammered on hard liquor you can't even remember what I'm talking about, you can view it again here.