KIM KARDASHIAN TACKLED BY NUTTER AT FASHION WEEK

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Kim Kardashian was ambushed at Paris Fashion Week today by Vitalii Sediuk, the red-carpet prankster who just weeks ago swore he'd retired. He made the sign of the cross and everything. Then again he's one of those East Europeans, so good Christ. Anything could happen.

I'd normally be pretty upset about something like this but let's be real: it's Kim Kardashian. So basically we're all secretly hoping he knocked the heifer right off her overloaded Manolos, but no such luck. Despite the fact that the Interweb is ballyhooing this incident as "Kim Kardashian Tackled and Almost Knocked to the Ground by Crazed Stalker!", in fact upon viewing this video you will see that, due to her low and formidable centre of gravity, she is in no more danger of capsizing than the goddam HMCS Chicoutimi. 

Still, it's damn good fun to watch everybody's favourite Kardashian being manhandled in such a thoroughly disrespectful fashion while momager Kris Jenner screeches frantically and Kanye looks on like a douchebag. Why, I haven't had this much fun since that time Kim got flour bombed by the PETA nutters.