Tuesday, 25 October 2016

PIGGLY WON'T BE DRESSING UP AS JIAN GHOMESHI

piggly wiggly, jian ghomeshi, lucy decoutere, trailer park boys, sex allegations, kevin donovan, toronto star, halloween costumes, bombay sapphire,
OMG. HALLOWEEN DOESN'T GET ANY CUTER THAN THIS
Just throw your best family-sized chocolate bars at us and concede trick-or-treat defeat. 

*And now, direct from the Whorrifiles, I hereby gift you with this irresistible blast from the past (below), in anticipation of Piggly's 2016 Hallowe'en outing. During which she will be dressing up as a ... well, I think I'll just pull a Donald Trump here and 'keep you in suspense.' Unlike his bullshit campaign, this suspense will be worth it! 

This. This adorable face. The joy, the innocence the sheer PIGGLY WIGGLINESS of it — this is exactly the tonic I needed after a solid week of trauma that included the funeral of a national hero and the explosive news that Jian Ghomeshi's private life is no longer a mystery, it's a horror movie. (Click here to read the latest shocking allegations, but I warn you, they are both NSFW and unfit to share blog space with a precious nine-month-old cherub. No one will compare ME to Mama June!)

This photo of my granddaughter taking her very first Halloween costume for a test drive is like a shot of overproof sunshine. It's even more adorable considering that the poor little pudding just got over her first cold … and  in the nick of time too because I am really counting on eating all the chocolate she gets when she goes trick-or-treating. 

We won't trouble ourselves with the niggling issue of just what the hell is she dressed up as (A kitten? A zebra? Big Ears Teddy?) because when your cheeks are this goddam squeezable it doesn't matter. The candy is going to pour into that trick-or-treat receptacle like Bombay Sapphire into a bucket. What? Why are you looking at me like that? Isn't that how everyone drinks it? Yes I tipple a bit but I'm an excellent grandma, you assholes! *slaps pasties onto bared drunken bosoms* HALLOWEEN! Woohooo!!! Two more sleeps, Piggly Wiggly!