Sunday, 19 October 2014

SJP AND HER SHOES WILL TEACH YOU IDIOTS WHAT'S WHAT

sarah jessica parker, SJP shoes, Nordstrom, Carrie Bradshaw, 66 Perry St., West Village,
A SCENE FROM THE 'UNAUTHORIZED' PHOTO SHOOT that has enraged the Village idiots. (If you wanted anonymity perhaps you should have bought Mr. Rogers' townhouse?)
Instagram/SJPShoeCollection

Sarah Jessica Parker has enraged the residents of the West Village Townhouse that was Carrie Bradshaw's home in Sex and the City because they're silly twats who don't understand what rage is for. And it certainly isn't this: SJP staged an apparently unauthorized photo shoot on the steps of the storied townhouse, using it as the backdrop for her mouthwatering shoe line, the SJP Collection.

Page Six reports that the Villagers have grown so tired of the constant stream of SATC worshippers drooling over the brownstone at 66 Perry St. that they erected a chain over the stoop and a sign that says "Do NOT go on staircase please!" A sign that SJP naturally assumed did not apply to her, judging by the photos of her leaning over the chain to adjust her perfect little foot gems with Friendly Giant-esque precision (photo below). 

She posted the photos to Instagram  with the caption: “It was take your @sjpcollection shoes to work day. #longdayforCarrie #whewwwwthosesteps #runninginheels #taxi!” Which was apparently all it takes to send the townhouse residents hurtling over the edge of what I would loosely call sanity. Gerald Banu, president of the Perry Street Association, is quoted as fretting: “They didn’t get  permission from the owner (for the shoot). The situation with ‘SATC’ visitors is still very intense. People who live here get upset that the sidewalks are constantly jammed.”

Right. Okay. So, first of all, anybody who buys a townhouse in a building that was once the soul, the heart, the very essence of Sex and the City is a goddam moron if he thinks it's not going to be a shrine forever. Get over yourselves, people. THAT IS CARRIE BRADSHAW'S HOUSE!
Secondly, and this is actually written right into the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, shoes are an acceptable excuse for everything. Everything! 
Prosecutor: Your Honour, she punched a helpless kitten in the vagina ...
Judge: *gasps* My God, what a monster!
Prosecutor: While wearing Manolos. The Hangisi satin ones with the buckle and the ....
Judge: Case dismissed!

EDITOR'S NOTE: Sex and the City ... that's the show with the talking horse in it, right?
MY NOTE: Hey, you know what's funny? Every time you say something witty I think of this SATC episode

SJP TENDERLY ARRANGES HER SHOES ON HER STOOP  
Yeah, that's right, you West Village Idiots: HER stoop! 
Instagram/SJPShoeCollection