Wednesday, 22 October 2014

SUSAN FENNELL'S BUMPTIOUS ARSE IS OUT OF OFFICE

susan fennell, brampton, linda jeffrey, brampton batman, mayor,
BRAMPTON'S ADORABLE MAYOR SUSAN FENNELL has been dethroned. 
I haven't been this thrilled since Brampton Batman drove RIGHT PAST MY HOUSE!
Mississaugawatch/Flickr

The politicians who are paid to say nice things about this hideous berg call Brampton "this great city." It's not. It's a charmless, ill-planned, hormone-addled, butt-ugly goiter with about as much eye appeal as a pustule. But, hey, it's my home, so just like the mom whose kid has a face like a bulldog, I kinda have a soft spot for it. (It's more of bruise, really.) Therefore it is with no small measure of ecstasy that I report this great city ... also known as The Devil's Butthole ... has been defenellstrated. The embarrassingly low numbers who turned out to vote here yesterday managed to make their way through the army of psycophantic (sic) beverage-flinging flying monkeys and end Mayor Susan Fennell's 14-year reign of terrier. Is it just me or does this great city look better already?

EDITOR'S NOTE: Aside from the fact that you have used up your pun quotia for the entire month, you have now ensured that we can't go anywhere in this city without getting a Starbucks facial.
MY NOTE: Oh I already thought of that. We'll just make sure you walk ahead of me at all times.