Monday, 20 October 2014

THIS IS NICKI MINAJ'S IDEA OF WHAT NORMAL LOOKS LIKE

Nicki Minaj, GQ, Anaconda, Miley Cyrus,
NICKI MINAJ DEBUTS HER TONED-DOWN NEW LOOK IN NOVEMBER'S GQ 
I think we can all guess what she did with her stockpiled hair dye. 
GQ.COM

You know we're living in a world gone mad when Nicki Minaj has become the voice of tastefulness and understatement. Because never mind that her Anaconda video was basically one long vibrating ad for arse implants, but her entire career was built on a look I would describe as Psychotic Clown Meets Bordello for the Clinically Insane. And yet here we have the Naj basically wearing nun's garb in the November issue of GQ and preparing us to be stunned by the absence on porn on her next album. (Editor's note: An album that I have just decided will suck.)

"I always thought that by the time I put out a third album, I would want to come back to natural hair and natural makeup," Minaj tells GQ. "I thought, I will shock the world again and just be more toned down. I thought that would be more shocking than to keep on doing exactly what they had already seen."
And now, if you will excuse me, I am going to forward that lifechanging quote directly to someone who really needs to hear it. Because if I have to look at one more picture of Miley Cyrus's squirrel pelt writhing on stage in a thong ...

EDITOR'S NOTE: You call that toned down? Her boobs look like they're going to put me in a headlock!
MY NOTE: Yes, but two months ago, her butt cheeks would have already knocked you to the ground and cracked your skull like a walnut. *pauses, smiles dreamily* Ah well, that's another opportunity missed.