Thursday, 23 October 2014

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOURSELF, RENEE ZELLWEGER?

renee zellweger,
THE FACT THAT THIS WOMAN IS RECOGNIZABLE AS RENEE ZELLWEGER 
tells us that this is a 'before' picture. Because Renee Zellweger now looks so unlike Renee Zellweger she probably scares the crap out of herself every time she looks in the mirror.
See Renee's "new face" here.
 Photo/Wikipedia

Look, I fully realize that not everyone can age as eerily gracefully as I have (being on Our Lord and Saviour's payroll has its advantages), but good lord, Renee Zellweger! Has no one ever warned you of the dangers of discounted Botox? TMZ posted this disturbing picture of Renee at an awards show last night and if they hadn't told me it was Renee Zellweger, I would never have known it was Renee Zellweger. I can't say I was ever a fan (synopsis: a solid actor rendered completely insufferable by overpouting and twee) but one at least had to respect her acting chops. Now she's gone Lil Kim on us and when was the last time Lil Kim had a hit? Or LaToya Jackson? Oh, and remember Jennifer Gray? Yeah, neither does Jennifer Gray. Point being, holy crap, Renee Zellweger, whatever you paid that guy to do whatever he did to your face, get your money back. And your face, too. Although if he can arrange to leave your lips completely and permanently unpoutable, that might be okay. In fact, it'd be great.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Not that I'm milking the woman's misfortune for cheap thrills, but if you like that sort of thing you HAVE to check out this "slider" visual on CTV's website. Watch Renee's face dissolve right in front of your eyes! 
MY NOTE: *slides, slides, slides, shrieks with glee, slides* I LOVE THIS! We have to learn how to do this!