Wednesday, 1 October 2014

WIZ KHALIFA CHEATED WITH TWIN WHORES. ALLEGEDLY.

wiz khalifa, amber rose, jas and ness, global grind, celebrity divorce,
MEET JAS AND NESS, THE FASHION DESIGNER TWIN SISTER SLUTS  
who "allegedly" broke up Wiz Khalifa's marriage to Amber Rose.  
Instagram

When last we left rapper Wiz Khalifa and his bride, Amber Rose, they were in the midst of a nasty divorce after just 14 months after marriage, which is 14 months more than I ever lasted so who am I to judge? Although judging is exactly what I feel like doing now that I've learned the real reason this marriage went to ratshit is that Wiz is a pig. A pig who got caught red-handed, by his wife, cheating with identical twin sister sluts Jas and Ness, who I'm just going to refer to from here on in as Loch and Ness because give me a break, Wiz. I realize the whole "twin" thing is a massive turn-on, but seriously. Have you looked at these two with your eyes as opposed to your penis? 

No wonder Amber's friends are rallying behind her in droves while Wiz's friends ... er, well he doesn't seem to have any friends. Unless you count Loch and Ness. And really, why would you? What's that? They're not sluts, they're fashion designers? Right. "This year's well-dressed homewrecking sluts will be wearing ..." 

EDITOR'S NOTE: *clutches pigeon chest* And now I will attempt to save us from a massive lawsuit by inserting the word "allegedly" into every single goddam sentence of this post. Jeez Louise, woman! You don't PAY me enough for this shit!