|'IT'S BEEN AWHILE |
SINCE I'VE TAKEN A SELFIE'
In the meantime, please enjoy this selfie benevolently shared by St. Kim of The Blessed Butt Shots, who belatedly realized yesterday that she's forgotten all about us. Which isn't surprising, since she's getting pretty good at forgetting people these days, isn't that right, Ignori?
(Kim: Her name is NORI!
Me: Just testing to see if you remembered.)
Anyway, here's Kim, showing absolutely zero cleavage or arse because she's a mother now, pretending that this is what she looks like fresh out of the shower. Because apparently, just like this other completely natural beauty, Kim's shower dispenses foundation, bronzer, lip gloss and mascara while simultaneously applying a full set of false eyelashes. *scowls ruefully at tattered loofah* I really need to step up my bath ritual.
In other celebrishitty news:
Eeek! You turn your back on Sarah Jessica Parker and she turns 80! TheSuperficial
Here's Steven Tyler doing a spot-on impression of a corpse adrift on a kayak. DailyMail
Even John Grisham is shocked by the shit that comes out of John Grisham's mouth.TMZ
AND IN CLOSING, here's Amber Rose, the lovely and classy ex-Mrs. Wiz Khalifa, telling us in no uncertain terms that if Kim won't share her arse with us anymore, someone else will. And that someone is Amber Rose. Good lord. If this keeps up the Internets are going to run out of buttwidth.