Monday, 10 August 2015

'MICHAEL BROWN'S MURDER? MEH, WE'RE OKAY WITH IT'

michael brown, darren wilson, ferguson, grand jury,
THE STREETS OF FERGUSON LAST NIGHT AFTER THE GRAND JURY basically declared open season on unarmed black kids.  
Twitter@MatthewMcTeague

*Note: This post is from the Whorrified files. Because so much has changed since Michael Brown's murder. Oh. Wait. "Nothing." I meant nothing has changed.

 I don't usually venture into politics unless it involves crack pipes and mayors who speak fluent patois, but something so egregiously, historically horrific has happened that I feel compelled to acknowledge it. 
Unless you live under a rock or have had your cable cut off due to nonpayment, you have by now heard that a Missouri grand jury has gone retarded. That's right. It somehow examined the blatant evidence that a white Ferguson police officer straight-up murdered an unarmed black kid and concluded, "That seems reasonable." Although in fairness to the grand jury, George Zimmerman did set a helluva precedent when he was pardoned for shooting an unarmed black kid wearing a terrifying hoodie, so who am I to question justice? It's wiser than all of us. And by all of us I mean Snooki. It's wiser than Snooki. Slightly.

MERRY FRICKIN CHRISTMAS, FERGUSON
TWITTER@HNDRXXDGAF

Meanwhile, the streets of Ferguson have turned into an inferno as citizens rage against the injustice and riot police close in all around them just itching to pepper them full of buckshot. Respect their authority, you guys! Calm yourselves. Try to look white. And whatever you do, DON'T PUT YOUR HANDS UP! That's like waving a red cape in front of a dimwitted bull who answers to the name of Darren Wilson (but only after he has gored you).  

I've been following the chilling Twitter images for hours (particularly those of @TefPoe) and my wish for Ferguson tonight is that everyone gets through this safely and that Michael Brown's parents hearts can somehow, someday, mend. I want to believe that law enforcement will learn from this tragedy and that change will follow. One must have faith; it's what separates us from the animals. *opens newspaper; reads "Cops fatally shoot 12-year-old black child holding toy gun"; dives headlong into traffic*