|KIM KARDASHIAN BARED HER ARSE FOR PAPER MAGAZINE |
and now the Internet has stretch marks. View monstrous uncropped version here.
And now it's time to play "What the Hell is Kim Kardashian's Ass Even Made Of?" It's a game that never grows old on account of that thing looks different every time you see it. Some days (as in this shot here) it looks like it's made of brie. Other times (as in this shot here) I'd swear I'm looking at a garbage bag stuffed with kittens. But this week, in this shot? In which Kim cements her status as Mother of the Year by baring her oily "soul" for Paper magazine? I'm going with Plasticine.
You may be looking at this photo and muttering: "The hell? I don't see no Plasticine here ..." Ah. Well that's because I am the soul, the essence, the goddam EPICENTRE of decorum, so I cropped the ass crack out of it. (The kid Kim keeps forgetting about might be reading this, for Chrissake.) However, for those of you who can't visualize what this monstrosity actually looks like, simply click here to view the wide-angle version. Unless of course you're reading this at work while pretending to mark essays. In which case, I recommend that you turn the monitor around and share this with the whole class. BEST TEACHER EVER!
And now, in other celebrititty news:
In keeping with the fine Hollywood tradition of old farts marrying broads young enough to be their granddaughters, I present Jeff Goldblum. PageSix
Beyonce’s been dipping her thighs in Photoshop sauce again. Buzzfeed
Chelsea Handler's butt imitating Kim Kardashian's butt is like a pebble imitating Uranus. TMZ