Wednesday, 17 December 2014

ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN. PARTICULARLY THIS ONE, SOON

I've been trying and trying and trying to get Pig Face to pose for a festive holiday picture that doesn't involve my hands around her neck but the bitch just isn't having it. She's ill-trained and not, I suspect, all that bright. (I can admit it; it's not like I'm her real mother, who was bacon, probably.) So I've had to resort to photoshopping bows on her bony head, not unlike Khloe Kardashian, who has resorted to glueing rubber butt pads to her buttocks or Britney, who has resorted to photoshopping her nose jobs, or Mariah Carey who .... WHOA! Bad analogy. Look away, everybody, or you'll put your back out. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes: Merry Christmas! I've gotta go shop. You guys behave.