Monday, 15 December 2014

AND NOW I'LL EXPLOIT PIGGLY'S CUTENESS FOR LAUGHS

PIGGLY WIGGLY, WHORRIFIED,
MY LITTLE PIGGLY WIGGLY IS BECOMING QUITE THE BOOKWORM 
I can't wait till she's old enough to read Whorrified!

I know many of you log on here in mortal terror, fearing I'll photobomb your eyeballs with gratuitous pictures of my arse or boobs or freshly highlighted locks. But not today, my pretties. Today I'm feeling Christmas-y, plus I just visited my granddaughter and got so many squeee-licious photos while I was supposed to be reading educational books and decorating the Christmas tree with her that I simply had to share. No one will call me self-absorbed! 

Piggly is 11 months old now. She's about the size of a large eggplant, loves slapping me, barfing on my clothing and yanking my earrings so hard I yelp (so obviously she's been reading my private "Ex-boyfriends" dossier) and is so unbearably adorable she might actually kill me with cuteness. She still doesn't give a rat's ass about food or sleep and she will bite you as soon as look at you, but I blame that on the pork, gluten and dairy-free diet her mother has her on. If you took bacon and cheese out of my diet I think incisors would be one of the nicer things I'd bestow upon you. Besides, take one look at that face and tell me you could resist it. You'd let her take a chunk right out of your leg meat if she wanted to. (Don't worry, she won't want to: too much like eating.) And now, without further ado, let us enjoy this uplifting panorama of baby-scented Piggliness, for no reason other than it's Christmas ... and I'm fresh out of arse pictures.  

THINGS ON PIGGLY'S HEAD
"I'LL GET EXCITED ABOUT CHRISTMAS WHEN THE PRESENTS SHOW UP ... "
PIGGLY TOES!
CORNDOGGERY! (REMEMBER WHEN I PROMISED NO EYEBALL TERRORISM? I LIED.)