Saturday, 20 December 2014

I'M TAKING A BRIEF LEAVE OF YULETIDE STRESS ABSENCE

christmas shopping, christmas gift ideas, dalai lama, galaxy s5, Rogers sucks, whorrified,
OH I LOOK HAPPY ENOUGH HERE 
but that's only because I'd just bought another 
great gift for myself: a calendar with daily insights 
from the Dalai Lama. (And then when I saw 
how big this phone makes my nose look 
I decided to buy myself a new phone, too.)
It's going to be mercifully quiet here on Whorrified for the next few days because as per usual I've been procrastinating and now find that Christmas Eve is breathing down my neck like a hair dryer. So I've had to take some time off and spend most of it procrastinating some more while somehow miraculously finding time to buy myself lots of fun little gifts and, of course, booze. (They don't call it Christmas spirit for nothing!)

However, I did manage to make a real dent in things today, including the psyche of some poor little bastard at Rogers who bore the brunt of my wrath for his employer (seriously, does that company WANT its customers to go on a killing spree? Because I fully predict that will happen if they don't shape up their customer service BUT SOON), whom I later had to apologize profusely to because he gave me a great deal on a Galaxy S5 phone AND threw in a free Otter Box just to get me the hell out of there. *Incredible-but-true fact: I went to Calypso Hut for dinner later and found myself sitting at a table right beside the poor little bastard. Who probably thought he was having an acid-flashback when he saw me.* 

So today will be a flurry of wrapping, having lunch with my mom and my aunt, visiting my beloved Piggly Wiggly, visiting my "other" daughter (the one who has forbidden me to speak of her on Whorrified because she has standards; they skipped a generation) and then coming home and doing a faceplant in a bucket of Hypnotiq. I may or may not be back in blogging form by Monday. In the meantime, I'd hand the reins over to my moron editor but he seems to have broken out in some sort of goddawful face pimple and by God, if he's got mumps he's fired. I don't need that sort of nonsense going on here. I blog about celebrity arses, for Chrissake. This is serious business.