Wednesday, 17 December 2014

KHLOE KARDASHIAN'S BUTT: LET'S TALK ABOUT IT

khloe kardashian, fake butt, bubbles bodywear, butt pads, kim kardashian,
YEAH THAT LOOKS 
100 PER CENT NATURAL 
Here is yet another Kardashian flouting the laws of decency, humanity and science by somehow losing a ton of weight everywhere but her arse. Because that is not how it works, as every woman who has ever tried to lose a few pounds of muffin top and wound up losing her boobs, her face, her ass ... basically everything BUT her muffin top ... in the process knows. 

So how is Khloe's monstrous, misshapen new arse possible, you ask? Well, aside from making a deal with the devil (and frankly, I wouldn't rule that out), there are about a gazillion ways you can fake a butt because God only knows, that is your surest ticket to fame these days. Forget education, forget intelligence, forget talent ... butt pads. That's what you need. (I swear to God, if Hillary Clinton gets herself a set of these she'll be voted in on a landslide. America is that fucking retarded. Not that Toronto is much better.) 

As to the precise substance Khloe is affixing to her hips, I dunno, could be anything from Peter Dinklage to baby seals, but my money is on Bubbles Bodywear. Because Bubbles is a wildly popular purveyor of press-on silicone hips, boobs and booties and also because when you Google rubber butt pads, guess whose picture comes up? Wait, don't ... Jesus! I was about to tell you not to Google it while you're at work. YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME!