|SHIA LABEOUF HAS BELATEDLY REALIZED|
that he was raped while he had a paper bag
over his head at his 'performance art' show.
Which is entirely believable if you're insane.
The incident, according Labeouf, occurred when he was sitting alone in a room in a gallery, wearing a brown paper bag on his head
And although all kinds of madness apparently unfolded during this bullshit endeavour, none of it came to light until an interviewer randomly asked him last week if anything the least bit interesting happened and Shia basically said: "Not really. Wait ... I think I got raped?"
"One woman who came with her boyfriend, who was outside the door when this happened, whipped my legs for ten minutes and then stripped my clothing and proceeded to rape me… There were hundreds of people in line when she walked out with dishevelled hair and smudged lipstick. It was no good, not just for me but her man as well. On top of that my girl was in line to see me, because it was Valentine’s Day and I was living in the gallery for the duration of the event – we were separated for five days, no communication. So it really hurt her as well . . . When she came in she asked for an explanation, and I couldn’t speak, so we both sat with this unexplained trauma silently."
Notwithstanding the bullshittiness of how someone with a paper bag on his head could have observed her dishevelled hair and smudged lipstick or why it didn't occur to him to simply take the bag off and snap "I kind of draw the art line at RAPE, ma'am!", there is the whole other issue of how the "hundreds of other people" in line simply looked on in ennui rather than run into the streets screaming: "OMIGOD! Somebody is raping Shia Labeouf and he is powerless to stop it because he's got a paper bag on his head!"
Honestly, Shia, you need to shut up and get help. I've heard more believable twaddle oozing out of Mama June's piehole.