Tuesday, 2 December 2014


elizabeth lauten, turkey pardon, barack obama, malia, sasha, republican aide,
expertly mime their acute embarrassment at having to attend a turkey pardon with their embarrassing dad. (I get it. You get it. Republican aide Elizabeth Lauten? Doesn't get it.)

Republican aide Elizabeth Lauten and her bile-filled womb had a nice Thanksgiving. They ate some pie, they watched the presidential turkey pardon and then they went on Facebook and lost their shit, basically calling Barack Obama's children disrespectful little sluts. (And I'm just wondering, for future reference, how much gin does one have to knock back to make THAT seem like a good idea?) 

In case you haven't seen the video, below, it is pretty much a textbook illustration of how teenage girls act every minute of every day ... the eye rolling, the fidgeting, the constant longing for the floor to open up and swallow you before your friends see you at a frickin' turkey pardon. It couldn't be more typical and frankly, more banal, and yet somehow it was enough to tip Lauten over the edge of reason and into madness. 

“Dear Sasha and Malia, I get you’re both in those awful teen years, but you’re a part of the First Family, try showing a little class,” she wrote on her Facebook page.
Malia, 16, and Sasha, 13, should “respect the part" they play, she went on. “Then again your mother and father don’t respect their positions very much, or the nation for that matter, so I’m guessing you’re coming up a little short in the ‘good role model’ department.”
She also urged the Obama girls to “dress like you deserve respect, not a spot at a bar.”

The comments, which probably seemed high-larious at the time, set off a viral backlash that ultimately led Lauten to retreat into hours of fake "prayer and reflection," and then, when that didn't take, to resign in ignominy. And frankly I'd say she got off easy because holy shit, have you seen Michele Obama's arms lately? They're not getting any smaller.

Watch the video and revel in the delicious realization that no parent, not even the leader of the free world, escapes the wrath of teenage side eye.