Thursday, 22 January 2015

I DECIDED TO START THE YEAR OFF BY BEING NICE (ISH)

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I'M GETTING VERY GOOD AT TAKING SELFIES WHILE
PRETENDING TO BROWSE THE MENU
 When Brampton eateries finally catch on to me they'll make me check my phone at the door.

As my first charitable act of 2015, I thought it would be nice to try to go out for a bite to eat and not have it all end in major drama and months if not years of therapy for the wait staff. To be honest, I didn't think this plan had much of a chance. This is Brampton, after all; one is about as likely to be served a decent meal by a normal waiter and not have it turn into a drive-by shooting or a Susan Fennell-sighting as one is to be struck by lightning. Twice. In one day. 

Still, I did get a Daily Insights of the Dalai Lama calendar for Xmas today's insight: "If the mind is tranquil and occupied with positive thoughts, the body will not easily fall prey to disease." (Whoooo, Dalai! Did you stay up all night meditating to come up with that one?) — so I figured, what the hell? Might as well give this positive thinking crap a try and visit The Works in downtown Brampton. It's not like the last time I went to a burger joint it ended badly. 

So while I was waiting for my order ... the confoundingly named "First Date" burger, no doubt because it comes with brie, garlic and fried mushrooms, as do all first dates ... I knocked back a pint of Moosehead and perused my text messages. "Whatcha up to, Mama?" my daughter wondered. "I'm at Burger Works," I replied. "You went back there?" she text-gasped. "You're a gluten for punishment!" Which I chose to assume was a little organic-grazing humour, because good lord, you guys! We come from a long line of geniuses and published authors (ask Google if you don't believe me). If that was an accidental misspelling it was a brilliant one. 
Anyway, since my charitableness is rapidly disintegrating into madness, I think I'll just wrap this up by saying "Yay! I went out for lunch and nothing bad happened! The burger was pricier and not quite as tasty as Five Guys, but the ambience was great plus liquor licence, so heck yes I'll be back. If they'll have me ..."

EDITOR'S NOTE: That's a pretty big "if."
MY NOTE: Yes well so is every time you go to bed expecting to wake up alive the next morning rather than smothered to death with this pillow right here, but do I harp on it? *checks watch* Oh look! It's your bedtime!
EDITOR'S NOTE: I'm suddenly not sleepy. Ever. 

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MY FIRST DATE BURGER at The Works. It didn't let me have sex with it but I'll probably go back for a second date anyway.