Thursday, 21 May 2015

AND NOW, SADLY, IT'S TIME FOR ME TO USE THE 'F' WORD

whorrified, farewell, moron editor, piggly wiggly, bruce jenner,
ADIOS MUCHACHOS, COMPANEROS DE ME VIDA 
Pretty good pout-face, if I do say so myself. Although 'someone' does it a lot better (see below).

So some sad news ... or perhaps fantastic news, depending on how much you like this blog and/or whether you prize your happiness over mine. (Haha. As if anyone would?) Yes, my friends and Kim Kardashian, I'm afraid the time has come for me to use the 'F' word. No, not that one, for once. The other 'F' word: farewell.

I've been offered a fantastic career opportunity in Toronto and will have to put Whorrified to bed for awhile. I simply won't have time plus it'd be a bad fit with the new gig. Meaning the new gig is respectable. I have to say I will miss it: I've had a helluva lot of fun debauching everything I touch and verbally cornholing celebrititties *rereads* There has to be a better way to say that — and, oh, the sheer Internet-breaking fun I would have had when Bruce Jenner finally came out as the world's creepiest lady.

Piggly Wiggly, Pout face, whorrified, farewell,
'DOES THIS MEAN I'M NOT GOING TO BE EXPLOITED FOR CHEAP LAUGHS ANYMORE, GLAMMA?'

Even more heartwarming than reducing Hollywood royalty to fake tears was the introduction one year ago of the true star of this blog, Miss Piggly Wiggly. We've been through some harrowing months with that little pumpkin and I'm not smart-alecking in the least when I tell you your heartfelt comments and support along the way meant the world to us. I will continue to post occasional updates on my little Piggly because one day she will be Queen I know some of you genuinely care. Plus it might lead to a modelling career. Who knows? But for now, giving Whorrified a well-earned rest. *makes nonsensical gang sign* Over and out, bitches.

EDITOR'S NOTE So we're taking a hianus, then?
MY NOTE HIATUS, you moron!!! Honestly! You are the thing I will not miss the most. Which reminds me, I forgot to ask if this new job comes with a whipping boy ...