Thursday, 5 November 2015

KIM KARDASHIAN'S CUNNING PHOTOSHOP SCANDAL

GIPHY/FACEBOOK.COM

You don't hear much about Kim Kardashian lately, for a couple of reasons. One of those being that she's eight months pregnant. Another of those being that her youngest sister, Kylie, is surgically and relentlessly making herself over in Kim's image, so why bother with the older version? Not one to be trumped by her own damn sister ... or fetus ... Kim Kardashian has cunningly implicated herself in a Photoshop scandal by allowing some lackey to "accidentally" post an unretouched photo of herself kissing Kanye at little sister Kendall's 20th birthday party. (Which of course featured a photo booth, because Kardashians.) 

According to the carefully scripted reports, Kim and Kanye posed in the photo booth and then one of Kim's assistants put the photo on Kim's Facebook page before Kim had had a chance to slenderize it or shave it or whatever it is the beautiful people do to their photos these days ... I don't know; for the love of lard, people, I call it a good day when the wine bottles are cropped out of the background. 

Anyway, as you can see from the GIF, above, which shows both the before- and after-Photoshopping (and I sure hope you guys appreciate the amazeballsiness of my handiwork, because by God, if I learned anything from this post it's that GIFs are hard), aside from missing the obvious opportunity to Photoshop a smile onto Kanye's perpetual bitchface, the "scandal" appears to be that Kim removed a few stray hairs and shaved a dollop of blub off her jawline. Let's caption this one: "OMGEEEE! THIRD WORLD PROBLEMSSS!!! #MADEYOULOOK"