Tuesday, 12 January 2016


sean penn, el chapo,
 that will some day summons a lackey to have him beheaded. "You can't miss him," El Chapo will say. "He'll be scowling, unshaven, and wearing black. Call it a hunch."

Sean Penn doesn't give a rat's ass if he broke multiple laws to interview fugitive drug lord El Chapo, ruiner of lives, maker of dirty money and general all-around dirtbag. (Plus he's short and has a pig face. Not that there's anything wrong with that.) In the few days since the explosive news that Penn made a secret trip into the Mexican jungle to interview the poor man's Escobar, an adventure that ultimately led to El Chapo's capture and pending extradition to the U.S., Penn has stubbornly refused to either comment or apologize. To anyone. The FBI has said Penn will have to answer to their investigators, but one gets the distinct impression that THEY'RE the ones who will come out of that room feeling intimidated. 

It may be against "the law" to secretly meet with fugitives in their secret hiding place (while roosters crow nonstop, apparently; what good is having billions of dollars if you have to listen to that crap all day?), but Sean Penn is not your average law-abiding citizen, he's a brooding rebel with a chip the size of one of Madonna's ostrich thighs on his shoulder. The few comments he has made so far about the incident are the verbal equivalent of a jaunty middle finger. 

It's all very cocky and on-brand for Penn, the alpha male-iest of all the alpha males, but one has to wonder whether that bravado will shrivel should a recaptured El Chapo ever decide to, oh I don't know, have him assassinated in the street while Madonna looks on in horror (or so we will assume, since her  expression won't reveal it). In the meantime, while he's still with us, let's all just admire Penn's machismo. And I must say he certainly looks hot for a 74-year-old. WHAT? HE'S 55? Jesus Christ, Sean Penn! It might be time for you to give Madonna's botox smoothies a try. Just because you're a rebel doesn't mean you have to walk around looking like shit!