Tuesday, 14 June 2016

JEREMY MEEKS IS OUT OF JAIL. YOU'RE WELCOME

jeremy meeks
JEREMY MEEKS/INSTAGRAM
As a woman whose hilariously disastrous choices in lifemates have been the stuff of nightmares, not to mention lawsuits (memo to self: next time, maybe go for a lawyer? No wait, plastic surgeon!), I take great comfort in the fact that so many other broads are literally going gaga over convicted felon Jeremy Meeks. You remember Jeremy Meeks, don't you? The guy whose dreamy mugshot gave the Internet an aneurysm, an asthma attack and an erection, all at the same time? Yeah, well about the only thing that kept the women of the world from lining up to have his probably-psychotic babies is the fact that he was locked up for 27 months due to whatever stupid shite it was that put him in there. (Random broad: Was it murder? Me: No, weapons charges and gang activity and ... Random woman: *clutching sweaty printed copy of mugshot* Oh who cares?!?) Alas, that prophylactic barrier has finally worn out. Yes, Jeremy Meeks is out of prison and back on the market and looking none the worse for wear. And by "wear," I mean just imagine what sort of uses Bubba in cellblock D found for ol' Jerry-boy. "Meeks," indeed!